We all want to become more charismatic, don’t we?

We’ve always been envying super-charismatic people and been drawn into them, without even realizing that our attraction to them was related to their charisma.

But what exactly charisma is?

While it’s intuitively considered as a positive virtue to pursue, the definition of charisma is not precisely known to everyone.

To put it simply, charisma is the ability to attract, charm and influence the people around you. 

Unlike what most people might think, charisma is not something you are born with. It’s not a gift from God or merely a “natural talent”. It is actually more than that.

Sure, for some people it comes more naturally, but it isn’t to say that a person cannot develop it from zero.

Charisma can be developed.

And I’ll show you how.

When you understand the fundamentals of any “natural” talent, you start to perceive it as nothing but a product of precision, determination and most importantly – practice.

In order to become more charismatic, you have to set it as a goal and fully commit to it for at least several months.

Just like any other skill.

Don’t underestimate how hard, consistent work on your personal charisma can change you as a person.

Unfortunately, as with other areas in our lives that we strive to improve, wanting to become more charismatic sometimes remains in the “wanting” category.

But what if I would tell you that there are actual, simple rules that you can apply RIGHT NOW to boost your charisma?

In this article, I am going to cover 5 easy-to-digest concepts you can incorporate into your life right now to make yourself more charismatic.

#1) Seek agreement instead of disagreement

In order to connect with other people, charm them and eventually lead them in a way that you want – you must intentionally seek agreement, and avoid disagreement. It will automatically x2 your connection with people.

Now, this isn’t to say that you don’t have your own very well-founded opinions. In fact, a charismatic person is strongly opinionated. However, he will never expose his opinion if he deeply knows that it will ruin the good vibes the conversation already has.

Whenever you talk to a person that you want to attract, even if his ideas seem very stupid to you, do not try to confront him directly and say “No, you are totally wrong!” or “Bullshit!”. More often than not, it will lead to an unnecessary antagonism, even if your opinion really seems smarter to you at the moment.

Instead, choose to nod, and even agree to some extent. Be nice and warm, even if your inner beliefs are the complete opposite. Try to resonate with the other person’s point of view, regardless of how idiotic it might seem to you. Trust me, it works like magic.

#2) Make People Laugh

If I would seriously tell you that you aren’t funny, chances are you would take it personally and maybe get hurt a bit. That’s because everyone wants to be funny, and at the same time, everyone believes that people not laughing at one’s jokes is due to their lack of humor. No one is honest enough with himself to admit he just isn’t funny. Most people have a fragile ego.

While it might be correct with some cold, humorless people, the vast majority of people will positively react to really funny people.

Charismatic people often find themselves at the center of the attention in any given group, cracking people up with their sharp sense of humor.

It is surely an important component of being charismatic.

Go practice, it might be awkward at first, but over time it will change for the better. Try to see what makes people laugh and what doesn’t through experience, what works for you doesn’t necessarily works for another, every person has his own style and own sense of humor. It’s not that complicated, after several tries you’ll start to figure it out. Just be self-aware and don’t force yourself at others.

#3) Learn how to tell a story

The art of storytelling is something I find really interesting, and it surely deserves a different post, hopefully in the near future.

There is nothing in this world more captivating than a good story that is told in a vivid way (from a charismatic person).

Learn the art of storytelling, start by adding some magic to your words, use tension and metaphors to your advantage, let them be drawn into you, be creative and don’t forget to end in a way that will spark people’s “WTF\OMG” kind of emotions.

Speak slowly, express yourself and don’t be afraid to catch the spotlight.

You are the most interesting person in the room!

#4) Always leave first

• Be the first person to leave the situation.
• Be the first person to end the conversation.

When you’ll start to apply this rule you’ll immediately begin to notice something amazing – people will always run out of things to say while talking to you.

Be the first person to stop the relevant talking (when they’ll continue to talk non-relevant shit due to their nervousness, do not react to that)

“Ah… Mah.. Mmmm” should never leave your mouth. Let the other person ending the conversation. Apparently, it will be in an insecure way, which will work to your advantage as people will start feeling nervous around you and eventually inferior to you.

Being charismatic is about being superior and powerful.

#5) Focus on the other person (and NOT on yourself)

In order to be likable, charming and charismatic you should always shift the focus away from you to the person you’re communicating with. It does 2 things:

1. Allowing you to be more mysterious – as you don’t reveal details about you.
2. Making the other person feel special, which makes him love you even more.

By embracing this strategy, you’ll start to notice how people can talk with you for hours without even ask a question about you. It’s amazing how people are so self-centered.

Make it about them.

When challenged and abruptly get asked about yourself, try to change the topic elegantly.

Someone at the gym: “So what are you doing for a living these days?”

You, in response: “Well, this conversation has become really serious :). It’s surely worth a beer, let me know when you’re free so we’ll be able to discuss more openly then. what about your current job btw?”

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There you have it, 5 things you can do right now to boost your charisma. I’ll end, like charismatic people often do, with a quote (Grand finale is a must):

“I’m real tall when I stand on my charisma.”

Harlan Ellison

Bonus quote:

“Once you develop charisma, the work is never ending – you have to maintain it daily. It has to become a part of you, a very strong habit.”

Gal Hadad

Until next time,

Gal.