Have you ever wondered why social media is so damn popular?

I am, and the answer is easy – Everyone needs approval and validation from others on a constant basis. Not wants but needs. It’s a need. A biological one.

• I want to show up with my very self online so people will compliment me and approve me.
• I want to share my plans with others so people will help me to justify them.
• I want people to help me decide between A,B or C.

Sounds familiar? Of course it is.

The point is the need itself isn’t a bad thing. Like striving for sex is not a bad thing and being hungry is not a bad thing.

You inherently need it, and it’s a primal necessity for us in order to be emotionally stable. Our ancestors have lived within communities and tribes, which characterized by deep social connections between the tribal members. Deepening the social bondings was crucial in order to increase the chances of survival.

The problem arises when as a species, human beings in the 21st century no longer have survival issues. In fact, the opposite is the truth. Yet the primal instinct ingrained in us so strongly that we can’t utterly ignore it, thus it has a huge negative impact on us.

Seeking Approval is Not Necessary Anymore. It’s Passé. 

Unlike hunger, the desire to be approved by our friends, family, and people in general, is no longer required for us to survive. We can make our own judgments and lead our lives by our own damn instinct and mind. We don’t need others to accept it anymore.

Worse News: Not only approval-seeking is unnecessary and passé but it’s also harmful and detrimental to your success.

It’s important so I’ll say it again –

Not Only Approval-Seeking is Unnecessary and Passé But is Also Harmful and Detrimental to Your Success.

And I’ll explain.

When you seek approval from others, it means you want other people to justify your behaviors/set of beliefs and you want them to accept you before you actually take action or make any decision.

What you don’t understand is that by seeking validation you are unconsciously sharing the responsibility for the outcome with others.

At first, It might seem very heartwarming and comfortable to know that when bad days will come, you’ll have someone else to blame. Hey, after all, It’s not all up to you!

We have here a refusal to accept responsibility for our own decisions and shifting the focus away from you when adversity comes off. Sounds Great!

No.

The Bad News is It Also Means Refusal to Get The Spotlight and The Credit of Success.

If you can’t do your stuff autonomously and always seeking other’s permission, even your success isn’t worth a bean, because it doesn’t even belong to you. It isn’t truly yours, it’s fake. It isn’t a real success.

The only type of success that exists is a success that comes from self-promoting, self-study, self-anything. Getting told what to do and not be able to think and make decisions independently has nothing to do with success but with slavery.

You have to be creative and unique. You can’t be another copy of what society calls “ideal”. Society ideal =model for impotence and weakness. Society anti ideal = greatness and power of individuals like you.

You may be deluded into thinking that you are in progress, but the truth is you are heading to your own demise. What is happening is your soul is literally being killed while you dedicate your whole self to other people’s success.

NEVER ASK FOR PERMISSION. PEOPLE WILL MISLEAD YOU IN AN ATTEMPT TO DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. IT’S POINTLESS TO SEEK THEIR VALIDATION.

You have to figure out what is good for you by yourself. You can’t rely on other people’s advice. Especially family members and friends. They usually have no idea what they are talking about.

A good rule of thumb to follow: Unless the person is someone you aspire to be like, don’t follow his advice. Be proof against his hidden agenda. Be strong.

By seeking permission/validation/advice what you are really doing is shooting yourself in the leg.

Asking people how to be successful and expect them to give you real honest answers means putting yourself intentionally in a position where you are like a lamb on its way to the slaughter. What you are truly asking is how to be killed, how to be unsuccessful. It’s ridiculous.

Everyone hates when other people rise up, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It reminds them of how weak and unsuccessful they are in comparison to you. When you become bigger and stronger than them, they’ll do everything to pull you down to their level, so they can feel good about themselves.

When you start to create your art and thrive, don’t be surprised – they’ll quickly try to tear you apart because this is the only thing they know to do. They are impotent and jealous therefore they can’t help but try to be an obstacle to you, desperately fighting against the pain your success causes to them, a massive success which they cannot handle themselves.