Most of us are clueless at our early 20’s. No doubt. But why?
Not because we’re too young to understand what life is all about. I mean, yeah, it’s definitely a part of it, but also – because we lack a proper direction.
We aren’t taught the real-life lessons in school, at least not profoundly. No one teaches us what really matters, beyond math classes, TV celebrities and some right movements who is trendy and “cool” – our knowledge about the world is very poor. As we go through our late adolescence-early adulthood – we start to figure out things gradually.
The more we explore, the more we figure out we have to explore more! But it’s never an excuse to not developing ourselves more and more. In this article, I am about to cover 32 life lessons I’ve learned before I turned 23. I could easily argue that if I had known those 32 life lessons at a younger age – my life could be much better.
It’s never too late to learn, though.
Some people in their 30’s or even 40’s haven’t learned those lessons yet, so you shouldn’t feel like you’re behind. You’re not at all.
In some sense, the opposite is the truth – as you’ll finish reading this article – you’ll be much further ahead of most people in terms of how deeply you can understand the chaotic world we’re all in – understand in a way that allows you to act more thoughtfully and perform at your best.
So, let’s jump right in:
#1) You are the only person you can truly trust on
Yeah, I know it’s a painful acknowledgment. But we are not here to avoid pain, we are here to be wiser about reality.
And the reality is – you are alone in this world. Despite having relationships, you should only trust yourself and be a self-reliant person. Only by being self-reliant can you start taking care of others and having an impact on the world.
#2) We must move our body Every day
A sedentary lifestyle is not natural. Anything that is not natural for humans can impact on us long-term, mostly in a bad way.
Sitting for too long is a recipe for pain and sickness. Try to move every day, most of the day, and avoid by all cost sitting for more than 45 minutes.
#3) Writing is so underrated
Writing is one of the most powerful tools you can become an expert at. Since the dawn of humanity, writing has been an extremely useful medium to transfer ideas through cultures, accross time. If you are serious about leaving a sustainable legacy in this world, learn to write. Period.
Beyond that, writing is a deep experience through which you are able to reorganize your thoughts and process what you’ve learned, thus making sure you internalized the knowledge.
#4) Don’t be too Arrogant that you can’t learn from your own mistakes
It’s easy to think you know everything. But let’s get real – you don’t.
It’s an ego issue each of us has to resolve. The faster, the better. As a mature person, I’ve learned that only when I admit I did something wrong, I am able to learn, move on and grow. Otherwise, you’re literally stuck at the same point. If you love to be stuck, then don’t listen to this advice. But I personally feel like I deserve more than I have today, and that I can be wiser by admitting I don’t know it all, and I think you should too.
#5) Improve your social skills
Regardless of what your goals are, better social skills equals a better life. I can’t think of one single reason why not to invest a ton of time in your twenties pursuing that goal.
#6) Improve your communication skills
Same goes for communication skills. The way you speak is the way people will perceive you.
Not your degree, not your on-paper experience, not your beauty, not your voice – but the whole complex of how you represent yourself matter. Having said that, it is important to note that this kind of skill can only be sharpened through real-life experience, not in a classroom.
#7) Learn to take responsibility
Life is a tragedy and full of evil. Of course. However, you have only 2 obvious options:
If you don’t take responsibility – your life will be meaningless and you’ll suffer a lot.
If you do take responsibility – your life will still be hard but at least worth living.
If you take responsibility – you have meaning. Without responsibility, there’s no reason to live, because who the hell cares about your existence? Just suicide and this is the best solution.
No.
Adopt responsibility!
Do it gradually, take small steps, but just don’t pretend like your life has no impact because it has. If you think doing nothing with your life has no impact – you’re wrong. You have an inherent responsibility to take care of your community and for the people around you. And if you don’t believe it – good luck. (I bet you won’t find peace.)
I used to ignore this for a long time, it wasn’t until I understood that simple thing called taking responsibility that I had an epiphany of “WTF?” “I just wasted my life until now, thinking all day long about how I slept and what I ate”.
Life is more than that day-to-day bullshit. Trust me.
#8) Be Physically Fit
I already advised moving a lot. But this point relates to the importance of being physically fit beyond just being in motion.
I mean – lift weights, do some exercise. Build some muscle.
Life is easier in general when you’re more muscular.
There are ton of benefits showing how lifting weights can improve your life.
- Increasing Testosterone
- Increasing libido
- Increasing Mood
- Decrease Anxiety
- Better joints
- More Attractive
- Less pain
- Less inflammation
- More focused
- More healthy – better immune system
- Easily burn calories – you can eat more 🙂
and so on and so forth… the list is truly never-ending.
#9) Travel Around the World
There are some lessons you will never learn unless you visit new cultures.
Visit 3rd world countries, live there for a while – it will dramatically change your perspective.
Look how other people live, but don’t just look – explore it, be there fully.
This kind of experience has no substitute. Especially as a young person, traveling the world can be a huge learning experience, and beyond that – a lot of FUN! 🙂
The older you get, the harder it is mentally and in terms of responsibilities – to be flexible. You have family, you have kids – quite harder to leave everything behind you and go to nowhere.
So, pick a bag and do it.
#10) Have a good posture
Go outside and look around you – how many people have a good posture? Very few.
What does it mean? that simply by being mindful and reminding yourself every single moment to stand up straight and take your shoulders back – you’re looking better than most people.
Everyone’s eyes on the phone, slouching aimlessly – they’re all slaves – do you really want to be seen as a slave?
Well, I know I don’t. That’s why I work on my posture on a daily basis.
#11) Don’t say No to new experiences
Science has shown that when you put yourself in a new environment – new DNA codes can manifest themselves.
It occurs in a way that allows you to expand your being, and your character – simply by putting yourself in new situations.
I like to view it as – getting out of “comfort zone”. The less comfort you get – the more potential you are able to unlock.
#12) Don’t be afraid of having dreams and big plans for the future
The older we get, the more we lose our self-motivation. We become discouraged by all the people around us, who continually keep telling us how unrealistic we are. But the less you listen to people – the better. Don’t let people ruin your belief.
If you have a dream, there’s nothing wrong chasing it – even if it’s considered to be unrealistic. or unmonetizable.
#13) Don’t get into Debt
Debt = slavery.
The moment you give your power to someone else – is the moment you lost your freedom. Never ever get in debt if you want to live as a free person, which I believe we all want to. I don’t believe you must take loans in order to succeed or reach your goals.
If your goals require loans – reconsider them.
#14) Be nice to as many people as you can
By nice I don’t mean waste your time to please other people. Of course not.
I am just telling you to smile to as many people as you can, have them smiling back at you.
Be a “gentleman” to random people – open the door for them, tip well on restaurants and so on…
When you are a good person – good things come in your way. And even if it’s not completely true – be sure that you’ll be much happier while you’re spreading positivity in the world.
#15) Quit Alcohol and Weed
Both make you dumb. Both make you less in control and more likely to make worse decisions.
Alcohol literally makes you a monster, while weed makes you lazy and retard.
I’ve been there – done that. Life is much more meaningful, clear, stable and healthy without such garbage.
#16) Quit Social Media
Social media does you more bad than good. It affects your mental health in a way that you don’t understand until you quit.
“But I want to keep in touch with some friends! What should I do?!”
Quit social media.
Find other ways to sustain the relationships that matter to you. I personally do it via WhatsApp.
If you still find it hard – then quit WASTING TIME on social media.
Scrolling on Facebook/Pinterest/Instagram for entertainment is not harmless, even if you think it’s for “educational” purposes.
Come on, we both know it isn’t.
Quit. Thank me later.
#17) Avoid Gossiping
Gossiping, aka speaking about other people behind their back, is a bad habit to have.
You must quit this habit as soon as possible. Beyond a waste of time, it’s not a part of who you want to become, is it?
#18) Educate Yourself
Don’t wait for college, or for some course – if you are truly curious about something. Open Dr. Google – and search by yourself.
There are infinite sources to learn whatever you want – don’t be lazy. This is the best time in history to learn by yourself.
Knowledge is power! Take advantage of this awesome opportunity! Which leads me to the next point…
#19) Don’t Actively Chase Opportunities, Instead – Be Prepared to them
Instead of focusing on the opportunities that should come in your way – do yourself a favor and improve yourself.
As you are a better version of yourself, you are more likely to be prepared as the opportunity arrives.
By focusing on the preparation you’re setting a higher possibility of you getting what you want. In life, the more you chase the “desirable” things – the further away they get. Same for money, women, happiness, etc.
#20) Relationships are the most important thing in regards to happiness
If you chase happiness – be sure to not neglect your close relationships, as it has been shown to be the number #1 factor of happiness according to a lifetime study from Harvard University (Source: here)
#21) It’s okay to fail
As long as you learn – fail is actually a good thing. It’s painful, though. But only by embracing the failure, learning and growing – you justify the failure – in a way that it wasn’t a real failure.
#22) Don’t Waste Time On Toxic People – (Even if they’re family members or Friends from Childhood)
Life is short to waste time & energy on people who want to bring you down. Maybe it’s their own way to feel good about themselves, maybe they’re mentally unstable, whatever. Don’t even bother.
You feel like someone is taking energy out of you for no legitimate reason – cut the relationship.
#23) You don’t have to justify yourself to others
If you like to do something – do it.
Unless it wreaks havoc in a serious way on the world around you – don’t give a fuck about other’s opinion.
Do your own thing, shamelessly.
#24) Learn to say NO!
If you are high in agreeableness – you’re always finding yourself avoiding confrontation.
It can be a bad thing as you try to get through life. Sometimes, people will try to impose their will upon you, and you must be able to say NO.
“Hey, can you help me in this and that?”
No.
“Man, Can you do me a favor?”
No.
“Please, I need this money” (Homeless)
No.
—
You got the point. No is the most powerful word in the world, prioritize it over yes and see what happens to your life.
The amount of time you’ve wasted doing things out of “politeness” is unbelievable. It’s never too late to change, though.
#25) There’s no such thing as a free lunch
I know it’s hurt to admit it – but yeah, life sucks.
You can’t get something worthwhile for free, you have to sweat, you have to invest, you have to feel pain, to be at the bottom, to cry. Only then – you can enjoy what life has to offer. And trust me my friend – it’s worth it!
#26) Sometimes, It’s better to take life less seriously
Don’t be hard on yourself. Be nice to yourself. Even if things don’t go smoothly – It’s okay to tell yourself from time to time – Fuck it. Make some jokes, have some fun.
..which leads me to the next point…
#27) Have some Fun with your Life
Make sure you’re not always “chasing” things. I know it’s hard to find a balance between hard work and having fun.
Especially as an ambitionist who wants it all in your early twenties- things take time – allow yourself to have fun throughout the journey. Don’t be too result-oriented to a point when you are so obsessed with the end goal that you can’t enjoy in the meanwhile.
But having fun is important. Your mental health will thank you. You will perform 3x times better when you’re happy.
Do things you love from time to time to keep a healthy balance in your life. I’ve tried to be extreme – it always ended in a bad way – we must have some balance!
Note: fun might be associated with extreme activities, which is not what I am talking about. In my experience, having mildly and natural activities is better than “extremes”. Heroin, weed, alcohol and all of those are outside of the equation IMO, even when trying to have “fun”.
The real fun is natural, you don’t need substances.
#28) Be Patient
Things that are worthwhile – take time.
As Jordan Peterson said: “Life is not a game, it’s a series of games” so it’s not about winning in one game, you are going to lose in some of the games. Don’t lose hope – be patient. You weren’t born knowing how to write, yet you do know how to do it now, how’s that? well, if you weren’t patient – you were depressed as a 4-year-old who can’t write, right?
Thankfully, you are not so mindful or knowledgeable about the world at this age, to expect fast results.
Fast results do not exist. Shortcuts are illusions. Even if you think you got it without investing time and you bypassed the system and Oh yeah!
You’re wrong. Nothing in this world is free – as I already mentioned in point #25.
 #29) You Don’t Have to Be Like everyone
If X, Y, and Z is what considered to be “cool” today – you don’t have to follow.
Same applies for serious decisions in your life – if everyone goes to learn X/Y/Z in University because it’s the best bet today according to an economic prediction of the market – you don’t have to follow.
If everyone lives some lifestyle just because they’ve been indoctrinated to believe it’s the right way to live – doesn’t mean it applies to you.
It’s not relevant at all. Different people will go through different paths in life, and that’s the beauty.
If everyone would be plumbers, we won’t have doctors, lawyers, and house-builders. And so on.
#30) Life Doesn’t Wait You
Life goes on. It doesn’t care if you follow or not, if you do something or not. Time is ticking, and you will eventually die.
How do you want to spend the rest of it?
#31) Your habits matter
Even if you think you have control over your life, you don’t. How we act is mainly a result of our habits.
If you have bad habits, make sure you eliminate them as soon as possible and make sure to replace them with healthful habits that will help you manage a more productive life.
#32) Always Ask Yourself Different Questions
Same questions will lead to the same results. Same results = not growing.
You have to ask yourself different questions. And I’ll explain you why:
Your mind is a liar, even the Buddhists recognized it. You can’t believe your mind, let alone let him lead you.
When you ask the same question – your mind has already a prepared answer to freezing you from acting or doing the things you should. For example:
“Is this project worth doing? mm.. I don’t know” – Your mind’s blocking you immediately “No, it sucks, go play video games instead”.
Another question will be: “Is playing video games instead of doing the project right now will make me happy long-run or it’s just me letting my mind control me? and if so, why should I let him control me? Is my mind deceives me ATM?”
Different questions – different answers.
You’ll start to see things differently – “Well, It’s just me going blindly after my inner voice, but this voice seems like my enemy in some sense, I shouldn’t listen to him!”
Thus more likely to generate the proper action.
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Until next time,
Gal.
