As a child, I have manipulated many people in many ways.

I wanted them to like me, above all else, by all means.

I can clearly remember how I made dozens of people believing me that I have superpowers during the elementary school. It was so funny, they actually believed that “If I choose to display my ‘real’ strength I can break the wall with a punch at any given moment”.

I can clearly remember how I tricked people to believe me that I have some older, rich, super-cool friends who I usually hang out with, while truth is that those friends existed in my mind and in my mind only. I was a liar, like everyone else, but luckily, I was good at hiding it. Apparently, I got above-average natural skills.

All I wanted was getting people’s attention, recognition, and appreciation. I craved that so hard, and I even chose to put my trust at risk for the little chance of getting it. I wasn’t fully aware of the consequences and never thought of what will happen to my name and reputation when the truth will be revealed. Of course, the truth has been revealed in both cases and those people who I deceived have categorized me as an unreliable, untrustworthy chronic liar. They no longer appreciated me, no longer respected me, let alone did not continue to believe my words.

I learned a lesson in my childhood…

Sure, we all want people to like us, but as a child, you will do anything possible, whatever it takes. You will shamelessly lie in the face of people like there is no tomorrow. You can literally sabotage yourself by exaggerating like I did in my childhood and take it to a level when you shoot yourself in the leg over the long-term.

• Eventually, everyone knew that I lied about the imaginary friends.
• Eventually, everyone knew that I lied about my superpowers.

“Trust – takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”

Luckily, in my case, it happened when I was a kid, and those events are now solely memories of the past.

LYING IS not A Sustainable Strategy

While lies might work here and there to your advantage, using them regularly as a strategy might harm you and causing you the exact opposite effect of what you wanted to achieve in the first place. People can identify lies from miles away, even if they don’t tell you they suspect they may do.

• When you are trustworthy, people will tell you their secrets and will let you possess power over them.
• When you are trustworthy, you will find it more easy to connect with people and make true friends.
• When you are trustworthy, people will admire you for who you are, and not a fake persona.
• When you are trustworthy, you feel better about yourself and you are satisfied since people feel more comfortable around you.

Building trust is a fragile process

The moment you let people, even for a millisecond, to question whether or not you deserve their trust, is the moment you are done with them.

Unless you share blood with that person, it will be very difficult to rebuild the trust and repair the relationship after an inescapable suspicion.

Now, of course, there are many exceptions and not every little lie will ruin any relationship. Losing one’s trust doesn’t come from “He said he is 6’2, and I figured out he is only 6’1, he’s a complete liar”. This lie is a little, insignificant one and can be overlooked easily.

However, what I want you to take from this article is that from now on you better see trust as something more fragile and sensitive than before. Please do not underestimate the importance of building trust in your relationships. It is a must and critical component for the relationship to work. Lack of trust means lack of true bonding means lack of true friendship. No real connection can be formed without two sides comfortably believing in each other’s reliance.

In conclusion, lying as strategy is fruitless and will probably harm you long-term. Once people catch you lie, they will automatically classify you as an “unreliable, untrustworthy chronic liar”. Good luck turning things around.

“Trust is like an eraser, it gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.”

Until next time,

Gal.